IN THE KINGDOM OF HUSKER NATION
And
it came to pass in the land of Lincoln, in the kingdom of Husker Nation, that a
man named Pederson arose to rule the realm of Athletics. For he was of the
Kingdom, from the city of North Platte, and was a follower of the Huskers of
Corn.
But he was not a wise man, forsaking the ways of the Husker Nation, sending the
leader Solich into the wilderness, and turning away the warriors of old who wore
the tunics of black into battle in ages past, even removing their portraits and
pictures.
And in the place of Solich, he selected from the land of La-La a strange man,
once known as leading a failed army known as Raiders to defeat after defeat in
the grand Coliseum of the Land of Oaks, a city by the bay of San Francisco, a
wicked city of Sodomites and practitioners of perversion.
And did this man, known as Callahan, become the general of the Husker armies,
forsaking all traditions held dear to the hearts of the citizens.
And a strange plan known as the West Coast Offense was forced upon the armies,
and the proven tactics of old were called evil and sinful by Callahan. And
complex and confusing were the plans in the Offense, and failure was the result.
And the Husker armies fell apart on the fields of battle, and adversaries from
the Land of Troy, the hated Sooners, the powerful Orange Cowboys from the land
of Still Water, yea even the despised Purple Cats from the wasteland of Kansas,
did achieve victory after victory over the once-mighty Husker armies, and the
wearers of the Tunics of Black.
And in the fourth year of the reign of Callahan, did the Husker armies struggle
against warriors from a land where canning jars were made. And lo, the armies of
Troy, the Tiger tribe from Columbia, yea, even the Orange Cowboys, did soundly
defeat the Husker armies.
And it came to pass during the battle with the Orange Cowboys, in the presence
of St. Thomas of Osborne and his brave soldiers of yore, that the members of
Husker Nation did turn their backs upon the slaughter of the weakened armies of
Callahan.
And a hue and cry arose throughout the land, in cyberspace, and on the program
ESPN, for the removal of the failed general Callahan and his aides, and his
master Pederson the Jerk.
And the Chancellor heard their cries, and dispatched Pederson into exile.
And St. Thomas was summoned by the Chancellor, and was given the power to rule
in the department of Athletics.
And o, did Callahan wail and gnash his teeth, telling one and all of the fine
works he had done. And his lies fell on deaf ears.
And there was great joy in Husker Nation as St. Thomas restored the traditions
of old, welcoming with open arms the warriors of old known to the Nation.
But there was a reminder from St. Thomas that no remedies would be quick in
coming, and that time shall pass before the great Husker armies are strong and
feared once again throughout the land of the Alliance of 12.
Even so, once again hope is strong among the faithful of the Husker Nation, and
some day in the future the Tunics of Black shall once again be worn by the
fierce defenders of the field.
FOREVER
RED!!
 |
Nebraska
Head Football Coach Bo Pelini announced that he has completed the process of
hiring his first Husker coaching staff. Eight of the assistant coaches have been
announced, with all of those having previous coaching experience in the Big 12
Conference, including six coaches who have spent time at Pelini
finalized his staff over the weekend with the addition of a running backs coach.
However, Pelini said the announcement of that individual will come in early
January, after that coach has finished his work in a bowl game with his current
school. The
offensive staff includes Barney Cotton
as associate head coach/offensive line coach; Shawn
Watson as offensive coordinator/quarterbacks; Ted
Gilmore as assistant head coach/receivers coach/recruiting coordinator; and
Ron Brown as tight ends coach. Watson and Gilmore were retained from the
previous On
the defensive side, the Husker staff will include Carl
Pelini as defensive coordinator/defensive line coach, Mike
Ekeler as linebackers coach, John
Papuchis as defensive ends coach and Marvin
Sanders as secondary coach. Pelini
also announced that former Husker player and assistant coach Jeff
Jamrog will serve as Assistant Athletic Director for Football Operations for
the Pelini
said the coaching staff he has hired brings the overall characteristics he was
looking for in “I
was asked about the qualities I look for in assistant coaches, and I mentioned
teachers, communicators and high-energy people,” Pelini said. “I think this
group of coaches will be great teachers for the young men in our program, and
they are a good fit for Pelini
said Cotton and Gilmore will assist him in a variety of roles in their positions
as associate and assistant head coach, respectively. “In
addition to coaching the offensive line, Barney will assist me in a number of
key administrative duties within our program,” Pelini said. “Ted will
continue as our receivers coach and recruiting coordinator, and he will also
play a key role in the overall direction of our program.” The
offensive staff will be led by Watson, who directed the “Offensively,
there has been good success here recently,” Pelini said. “I think we can add
some wrinkles to what has worked well the past few years. Coach Watson is a
proven offensive coordinator in the Big 12 Conference, and our offensive
assistants have extensive collegiate experience, specifically in the Big 12
North.” Defensively,
Pelini said he will be involved in all aspects of the preparation and expects
his defensive staff to operate as one cohesive unit. “Our
defensive coaches will all have equal input on what we are doing, regardless of
titles or positions,” Pelini said. “Our defensive coaches are outstanding
teachers who will bring great energy to the practice field. I have worked with
each of them during my career and have great confidence in this group. This
staff plans to build on the tradition of hard-nosed Blackshirt defenses at